Slide 1: Video of Ephesians 2
That was Ephesians 2, read by Francis Chan and LeCrae.
At one of the sessions, Louie Giglio suggested that preaching is an important part of worship. He asked those in the dome to stand during the sermon, just like they did during the worship. The preaching that day, though, was done by Paul, rather than any of the big names available at the conference. We experienced LeCrae, Beth Moore, Louie Giglio, Francis Chan and John Piper make way for the Word of the Lord. Rather than adding anything, they allowed the Word to speak. What a powerful message it was!
Let’s look again at the words read by Francis and LeCrae.
Slide 2: Ephesians 2:1-3 (NASB) 1 And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, 2 in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. 3 Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.
The NIV says it like this: “ 1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.”
We were dead. We could have been that body on the stretcher being carried off to a hole in the ground. That’s what we deserved because of our sin. That could have been the end of the story.
But Jesus was interrupted by death. He had compassion on the grieving widow. He had compassion on us. The next 2 words of this passage tell us everything.
Slide 3.1: BUT GOD.
Those two words make all the difference for us.
Slide 3.2: being rich in mercy
God doesn’t just have mercy on us, He is bathing in this mercy. He’s got mercy overflowing in him… FOR US!!!
Slide 3.3: Because of his great love with which
Slide 3.4: He loved us
It’s God’s love and mercy that’s making the difference here. We deserved death. We were headed for a funeral. But God was rich in mercy and abounding in love towards us.
Slide 4: even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)
This God, who loved us with this huge love, made us alive. Even when we were his enemies because of our sin, God interrupted the funeral procession.
There was another time that God interrupted in death. Jesus gave up his life to pay the debt that we owed. But God didn’t let him stay dead. God interrupted death to bring life.
He does the same for us now. This death that Jesus suffered, and the resurrection that God brought, these things mean that we get to experience life after death. We have been made alive again, because of grace. We were saved from the hole in the ground. We have been saved from the death that we deserved.
But this amazing grace doesn’t stop with just giving us life. No, our God is abounding in rich love and extravagant mercy.
Slide 5: Verses 6-7, “6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”
Not only does He give us life, but God gives us a future. He sets us up! He gives us a place and surrounds us with riches.
Can you imagine this! We go from dead and decaying on a stretcher headed towards our own funeral, to sitting in the throne room of Heaven, surrounded by riches!
That’s my God! Can you believe this!
So let’s just be sure we’ve got this. The next verse does a great job of summarizing for us.
Slide 6: Verses 8-9, “8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.”
We were dead. We deserved death. BUT GOD!!! Through His amazing mercy, saw it fit to save us from the death we had earned. Because of His grace we have been given a new life. It is purely a gift of God. I earned my death, I can’t earn my life. It’s not in me. I have to be given my new life, a gift of God. I didn’t do anything good enough to get this from God, I can’t boast about this, I didn’t do this.
So what do we do now? What does getting new life mean?
Slide 7: Verse 10, “10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”
2:7-10 (MSG) “Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.”
Not only is this God so filled with mercy and grace that he freed us from the chains of our own death, but he had plans for us before we even took a breath. He made us, created us in His amazing love and mercy to do good things.
So what are these good works we’re supposed to get busy doing?
In tying this back to the cause of Freedom from the Passion Conference, we need to remember that one big work we have to go about doing is bringing freedom.
Just one book back from Ephesians we find a verse that tells us one thing we need to be doing. Galatians 5:1 tells us.
Slide 8: Galatians 5:1, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
One of the Passion speakers, Christine Caine, said, “Surely God wants to use rescued people to rescue people.”
We are the ones who have tasted this freedom. We know how good it is to have the shackles of our former nature broken. It is our job to get busy sharing that freedom. This is part of the good works that God prepared in advance for us to do.
Surely, the goal of our Christian life is not to arrive safely at death. This is not the work God had planned for us.
Freedom is! We have amazing news to share with the world; God loves us enough to save us from the debt of death that we owe! This is a message worth shouting about! This is a message worth risking our popularity about! This is a message worth losing our comfort over! This is a message worth losing friends over!
This is the work that God prepared in advance for us to do. We have been created in Christ Jesus to do work like him. We get to interrupt death with amazing life. We get to stop the funeral march our friends and family and even strangers are on. We are not that far separated from it ourselves. We remember how slippery that slope was to death. But we have the message of hope.
God loves us enough to pay the price we owe. The price has been paid. We have freedom available, ready for the taking. How can we keep that to ourselves?
God, we thank you for your word. We thank you for your grace. We thank you for the extravagant mercy at you lavished on us. We thank you for the freedom we’ve experienced. We thank you for the good deeds you’ve prepared for us. God, give us boldness now to bring this freedom to others. Show us how to express the amazing work you’ve done in us so that others will want to experience your goodness, too. God, we don’t want to keep this to ourselves. This is too big! You, God, are too big to not share.
Lord, please show us the things that even now are leading us to our funeral. Help us put these things behind us. Help us take your hand and get up from the stretcher. If it’s freedom that you have for us, Lord, help us walk in it!
God we ask for your help in bringing this freedom to all those you’ve placed in our paths. Open our eyes to see the opportunities to share in this work.
We love you, Jesus.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Me and a Christmas Tree
This morning at church an interesting metaphor came to mind. My beautiful friend, Jen, was offering the teaching, even though she's suffering from a cold and only a week away from her finals. We are looking at the Advent topics and this week was peace. We talked about the peace that comes only from a relationship with Christ and the responsibility we have to share that peace with those around us and the world as a whole.
Jen shared with us that one of her favorite childhood Christmas memories was sitting in the living room with the lights off looking at the tree all lit up. She asked us to meditate on peace and look at the lights. Not because we worship a Christmas tree, but because it gives us a moment to reflect. It was definitely a peaceful moment. And here's what came to my mind. I hope that you find some part of it that means something to you.
I looked at the tree and noticed that it wasn't the tree that I saw. I saw the lights. I saw the light reflecting off the garland and the ornaments. But the tree just faded into the background. As I journaled I asked God to help me know peace. I asked that He show me how to show peace. And then it clicked. God showed me what the tree and I need to have in common.
A Christmas tree is beautiful when its all lit up and glowing from the strands of lights. Sometimes they are all white and other times a variety of beautiful colors. But when the lights are unplugged the tree looks dark, and kind of gaudy. If all the lights in the room are on, the Christmas tree pales in comparison. Those lights are not the strongest bulbs, but they do glow on. If we lower the other lights or turn them off all together, just picture the beauty that tree creates.
When we have accepted Christ as our Lord, He places a light within us. This light is meant to shine and show His amazing love to those around us. But in a world that sometimes shines so brightly, that light can be hard to see. Discipleship is the process of putting aside the world to strongly pursue Christ, a sort of dimming of the lights the world shines. As we dim these worldly lights, the light of Christ begins to shine.
So how am I like that Christmas tree? Its more than dimming the lights the world shines around me. God showed me that my role, like the tree, is to fade into the background. Don't get me wrong, I think an evergreen tree is beautiful, but when wrapped in those sparkling lights it's beauty is something extra special. Each part of the Christmas decorations has a correlation to our spiritual lives:
The lights on the tree represent the light of Christ, the Holy Spirit shining as a seal upon our hearts of something greater.
The garland wraps around a tree and glimmers not on its own right, but because of the lights that have already been placed. This stuff can be in a variety of colors and styles, but the shimmery, reflective material sends the light from those lights bursting forth in a million directions. Just as garland is wrapped around the tree, so too is grace wrapped around the Christian's life. In some places the Christian is wrapped in this grace more tightly than others, but in all the places, from top to bottom, grace reflects the light of Christ, inward towards the tree and outward for the world.
The ornaments on a tree can vary so greatly. My family's Christmas tree has always been covered in a lovely handmade ornaments from our growing up years. We also have a variety of ornaments from my parent's younger years. And then there are the beautiful new ones, silvery or sparkly. Some of these reflect the lights more easily than others, some are dark until a light from the strand is placed in front of it or behind it and illuminates the images it bears. Others, like the garland, send the light out in a million directions. Just as each ornament on our tree reminds me of a story from my past, so too am I covered in these stories. Some of them reflect the light of Christ better than others, but together they show the grace and purpose God has shown in my life. As I allow the light of Christ to be placed near these experiences, they begin to glow more beautifully. I learn from my past how God was paving the way for the beauty that would come. And now, as I am walking more closely to His side, He places beautiful new ornaments on my life, ones that send His light to the ends of the earth.
After we've looked the tree over we look up and see that tree topper. Some trees have stars at the top, others have angels, but you will be hard pressed to find a tree with nothing at the top. For me the tree topper reminds me of the crown that is to come. My faith in Christ offers me an amazing hope of a life to come. This life is one where everything has finally been set right. Suffering will end and strivings will cease. I will find my rest in Christ, my Savior, and will receive a crown for the completion of this race.
When the tree is finally assembled and the lights are dimmed, there is a moment that takes my breath away. The moment when the lights come on and the room is filled with this Christmas experience. All of the world is still for a moment as we take in the light that is filling our lives.
One passage we read this morning was from Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Jen admitted a bit of confusion because we are called the children of God from the moment we receive the grace Christ offers and accept the payment for our sins. This morning I understood that this will be the world recognizing the peace we are making and where it comes from, the light of Christ. We must be makers of peace throughout the world so that they can see the light of Christ. We must dim the lights of the world and shimmer in the light. Then the world will recognize, not a job well done by us, but the God who gives peace and grace to all. They will see lives set right and justice made real. They will see families coming together and broken hearts healed. All in the light of Christ, radiating from a life devoted to reflecting that light.
At Christmas we focus on the baby who was born in such a lowly position, the Christ-child. We remember the faith of His earthly parents and the amazing scene that God set for His son's arrival. But as a Christian my eyes look beyond the manger where the baby slept to the road that led Him to a very important tree. The Christ-child came with a singular focus, the cross, execution on a stake. He did this for us, each and every one of us. The Christ-child came for me. The Christ-child came for YOU! He longs to know you and be known by you. He longs to light up the life you are living. He longs to make things right in your life and offer you peace. If this is something you'd like to experience, please ask me. I'd love to share the peace with you!
Jen shared with us that one of her favorite childhood Christmas memories was sitting in the living room with the lights off looking at the tree all lit up. She asked us to meditate on peace and look at the lights. Not because we worship a Christmas tree, but because it gives us a moment to reflect. It was definitely a peaceful moment. And here's what came to my mind. I hope that you find some part of it that means something to you.
I looked at the tree and noticed that it wasn't the tree that I saw. I saw the lights. I saw the light reflecting off the garland and the ornaments. But the tree just faded into the background. As I journaled I asked God to help me know peace. I asked that He show me how to show peace. And then it clicked. God showed me what the tree and I need to have in common.
A Christmas tree is beautiful when its all lit up and glowing from the strands of lights. Sometimes they are all white and other times a variety of beautiful colors. But when the lights are unplugged the tree looks dark, and kind of gaudy. If all the lights in the room are on, the Christmas tree pales in comparison. Those lights are not the strongest bulbs, but they do glow on. If we lower the other lights or turn them off all together, just picture the beauty that tree creates.
When we have accepted Christ as our Lord, He places a light within us. This light is meant to shine and show His amazing love to those around us. But in a world that sometimes shines so brightly, that light can be hard to see. Discipleship is the process of putting aside the world to strongly pursue Christ, a sort of dimming of the lights the world shines. As we dim these worldly lights, the light of Christ begins to shine.
So how am I like that Christmas tree? Its more than dimming the lights the world shines around me. God showed me that my role, like the tree, is to fade into the background. Don't get me wrong, I think an evergreen tree is beautiful, but when wrapped in those sparkling lights it's beauty is something extra special. Each part of the Christmas decorations has a correlation to our spiritual lives:
The lights on the tree represent the light of Christ, the Holy Spirit shining as a seal upon our hearts of something greater.
The garland wraps around a tree and glimmers not on its own right, but because of the lights that have already been placed. This stuff can be in a variety of colors and styles, but the shimmery, reflective material sends the light from those lights bursting forth in a million directions. Just as garland is wrapped around the tree, so too is grace wrapped around the Christian's life. In some places the Christian is wrapped in this grace more tightly than others, but in all the places, from top to bottom, grace reflects the light of Christ, inward towards the tree and outward for the world.
The ornaments on a tree can vary so greatly. My family's Christmas tree has always been covered in a lovely handmade ornaments from our growing up years. We also have a variety of ornaments from my parent's younger years. And then there are the beautiful new ones, silvery or sparkly. Some of these reflect the lights more easily than others, some are dark until a light from the strand is placed in front of it or behind it and illuminates the images it bears. Others, like the garland, send the light out in a million directions. Just as each ornament on our tree reminds me of a story from my past, so too am I covered in these stories. Some of them reflect the light of Christ better than others, but together they show the grace and purpose God has shown in my life. As I allow the light of Christ to be placed near these experiences, they begin to glow more beautifully. I learn from my past how God was paving the way for the beauty that would come. And now, as I am walking more closely to His side, He places beautiful new ornaments on my life, ones that send His light to the ends of the earth.
After we've looked the tree over we look up and see that tree topper. Some trees have stars at the top, others have angels, but you will be hard pressed to find a tree with nothing at the top. For me the tree topper reminds me of the crown that is to come. My faith in Christ offers me an amazing hope of a life to come. This life is one where everything has finally been set right. Suffering will end and strivings will cease. I will find my rest in Christ, my Savior, and will receive a crown for the completion of this race.
When the tree is finally assembled and the lights are dimmed, there is a moment that takes my breath away. The moment when the lights come on and the room is filled with this Christmas experience. All of the world is still for a moment as we take in the light that is filling our lives.
One passage we read this morning was from Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Jen admitted a bit of confusion because we are called the children of God from the moment we receive the grace Christ offers and accept the payment for our sins. This morning I understood that this will be the world recognizing the peace we are making and where it comes from, the light of Christ. We must be makers of peace throughout the world so that they can see the light of Christ. We must dim the lights of the world and shimmer in the light. Then the world will recognize, not a job well done by us, but the God who gives peace and grace to all. They will see lives set right and justice made real. They will see families coming together and broken hearts healed. All in the light of Christ, radiating from a life devoted to reflecting that light.
At Christmas we focus on the baby who was born in such a lowly position, the Christ-child. We remember the faith of His earthly parents and the amazing scene that God set for His son's arrival. But as a Christian my eyes look beyond the manger where the baby slept to the road that led Him to a very important tree. The Christ-child came with a singular focus, the cross, execution on a stake. He did this for us, each and every one of us. The Christ-child came for me. The Christ-child came for YOU! He longs to know you and be known by you. He longs to light up the life you are living. He longs to make things right in your life and offer you peace. If this is something you'd like to experience, please ask me. I'd love to share the peace with you!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Jesus said what? John 6:51-58
John 6:51-58
New International Version (NIV)
51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”
52 Then the Jews began to argue sharply among themselves, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”
53 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. 56 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. 57 Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”
“How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” What an honest question. The statements Jesus makes in this section are confusing to say the least. Eat my flesh, drink my blood. He seems to be suggesting cannibalism of a living man.
Obviously we don't read this passage as cannibalism. We must bridge the gap between the appeared what we read and the meaning of the passage. Our job as teachers is to bring this message to our current readers and students.
Jesus says that he is the living bread that came down from heaven. Just as manna came down from heaven to provide for the Israelites as they wandered in the desert, Jesus came to provide for us. The sustenance that came from manna lasted only for the day. They could gather enough to satisfy a daily hunger, but any extra would go bad over night. They had no way of providing beyond a daily need.
Our lives may seem so much better than this daily fight for survival. We have refrigeration and food preservation. We can buy something today and eat it months from now. But are we really providing for ourselves? Are our needs really being met? We must eat again every few hours if we wish to keep hunger at bay. We keep pictures of our families in our wallets or on our cell phones to remind us of the love that we share. We cannot fathom the idea of being separated from all other people for more than a few hours at a time.
What Jesus came to offer would last more than a few hours or even a day. Jesus came to offer a bread that would satisfy for eternity. How can bread satisfy for that long? This is a filling, wholesome, hearty bread that feeds our souls. This bread, Jesus himself, satisfies our soul's longings rather than a grumbling tummy.
The Israelites could not find something that would give them life beyond their alloted years. They ate the manna provided and still eventually died. We, too, eat and live for only a certain amount of time. Death is inevitable for us as well. The bread that Jesus offers feeds us for all of eternity, giving us life beyond these few mortal years.
Jesus uses images of bread and wine to connect with his hearers. They understood the importance of bread and wine in ceremonial meals and even in daily life. They understood, like we may, how important daily food is to those who are not sure how it will be provided. Jesus also understood how odd it would sound to be promised a food that would not make you hungry later or could keep you from dying.
This is the bread that Jesus provides, His own life – His body broken and His blood shed. His life for ours. Will we eat of this bread? Can we take up this offer? Nothing is more real than this.
New International Version (NIV)
51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”
52 Then the Jews began to argue sharply among themselves, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”
53 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. 56 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. 57 Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”
“How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” What an honest question. The statements Jesus makes in this section are confusing to say the least. Eat my flesh, drink my blood. He seems to be suggesting cannibalism of a living man.
Obviously we don't read this passage as cannibalism. We must bridge the gap between the appeared what we read and the meaning of the passage. Our job as teachers is to bring this message to our current readers and students.
Jesus says that he is the living bread that came down from heaven. Just as manna came down from heaven to provide for the Israelites as they wandered in the desert, Jesus came to provide for us. The sustenance that came from manna lasted only for the day. They could gather enough to satisfy a daily hunger, but any extra would go bad over night. They had no way of providing beyond a daily need.
Our lives may seem so much better than this daily fight for survival. We have refrigeration and food preservation. We can buy something today and eat it months from now. But are we really providing for ourselves? Are our needs really being met? We must eat again every few hours if we wish to keep hunger at bay. We keep pictures of our families in our wallets or on our cell phones to remind us of the love that we share. We cannot fathom the idea of being separated from all other people for more than a few hours at a time.
What Jesus came to offer would last more than a few hours or even a day. Jesus came to offer a bread that would satisfy for eternity. How can bread satisfy for that long? This is a filling, wholesome, hearty bread that feeds our souls. This bread, Jesus himself, satisfies our soul's longings rather than a grumbling tummy.
The Israelites could not find something that would give them life beyond their alloted years. They ate the manna provided and still eventually died. We, too, eat and live for only a certain amount of time. Death is inevitable for us as well. The bread that Jesus offers feeds us for all of eternity, giving us life beyond these few mortal years.
Jesus uses images of bread and wine to connect with his hearers. They understood the importance of bread and wine in ceremonial meals and even in daily life. They understood, like we may, how important daily food is to those who are not sure how it will be provided. Jesus also understood how odd it would sound to be promised a food that would not make you hungry later or could keep you from dying.
This is the bread that Jesus provides, His own life – His body broken and His blood shed. His life for ours. Will we eat of this bread? Can we take up this offer? Nothing is more real than this.
Friday, May 6, 2011
For Janet
So I only knew Janet for about 2 years. But as some of my friends will tell you, that's a long time in my book. I met Janet through Gary while he was attending classes with me through CCU at Indian Creek.
My first image of Janet was that of a diligent wife. She was always by Gary's side. She was supportive and ready with anything he may have needed. She always had healthy snacks packed for him, and extras for us. She sat quietly in our classrooms and occasionally offered her opinion or thoughts. That's when the magic happened.
When Janet opened her mouth the words that came out were beautiful. I wouldn't say that I would consider her quiet, but she never seemed obligated to talk. Her words were well crafted, always edifying and filled with so much love.
Janet was filled with love in everything she did. You could see the love dancing in her eyes like sparks flying as she talked about her kids, the church kids, the teens, her friends or almost anyone she met. She had learned to see with God's eyes. She saw each person as the part of God they had been created to be like. I could tell that with each new person she met her understanding of God became more complete.
Janet was such a good friend. I knew that no matter what idea was all of the sudden important to me, Janet would be willing to listen to me ramble on about it. She would talk with me about the things God was putting on my heart and share her heart with me as well.
I'm not sure why God called her home when He did. I know that a life like hers could never be fully finished. She would always have had more work she wanted to do, more people she wanted to love, more hugs she needed to share. But one thing I'm sure of is that she is now completely healed.
There's a picture on facebook of Janet next to a stone wall. There are these super determined flowers coming through the wall, blooming in their purple splendor. I commented for Gary that this was a perfect representation of Janet. She was a determined flower, pushing its way through the stone of life circumstances and hard hearts, to show God's full royal beauty to anyone willing to stop and see.
Thank you, Gary, for sharing Janet with us while you had her here. Thank you, God, for using Janet to inspire and motivate me to be a more loving person. And thank you, Janet for responding every day to the call of God on your life and loving completely.
My life will never be the same.
My first image of Janet was that of a diligent wife. She was always by Gary's side. She was supportive and ready with anything he may have needed. She always had healthy snacks packed for him, and extras for us. She sat quietly in our classrooms and occasionally offered her opinion or thoughts. That's when the magic happened.
When Janet opened her mouth the words that came out were beautiful. I wouldn't say that I would consider her quiet, but she never seemed obligated to talk. Her words were well crafted, always edifying and filled with so much love.
Janet was filled with love in everything she did. You could see the love dancing in her eyes like sparks flying as she talked about her kids, the church kids, the teens, her friends or almost anyone she met. She had learned to see with God's eyes. She saw each person as the part of God they had been created to be like. I could tell that with each new person she met her understanding of God became more complete.
Janet was such a good friend. I knew that no matter what idea was all of the sudden important to me, Janet would be willing to listen to me ramble on about it. She would talk with me about the things God was putting on my heart and share her heart with me as well.
I'm not sure why God called her home when He did. I know that a life like hers could never be fully finished. She would always have had more work she wanted to do, more people she wanted to love, more hugs she needed to share. But one thing I'm sure of is that she is now completely healed.
There's a picture on facebook of Janet next to a stone wall. There are these super determined flowers coming through the wall, blooming in their purple splendor. I commented for Gary that this was a perfect representation of Janet. She was a determined flower, pushing its way through the stone of life circumstances and hard hearts, to show God's full royal beauty to anyone willing to stop and see.
Thank you, Gary, for sharing Janet with us while you had her here. Thank you, God, for using Janet to inspire and motivate me to be a more loving person. And thank you, Janet for responding every day to the call of God on your life and loving completely.
My life will never be the same.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Giddy
I spend my days in the land of teenage lust. I'm inundated with the sight of giddy hand-holding, stolen kisses and pregnant children.
I remember those days. I can still remember how excited I would get to find a note stuffed in my locker. I remember the smile that permeated my face when I saw "him" in the hall. And the feeling of his fingers slipping in between mine, the most tender embrace. The last hug before rushing off to class felt like the goodbye that would last for eternity.
But now I'm the disapproving teacher to be hidden from around the corner. Where has adolescent romance gone? Am I doomed by maturity to live a life of awkward dates, inconvenient courting and an emotionless marriage. To recall the Toys-R-Us song, "I don't want to grow up!"
In my current single status I lament the loss of innocence and lust. I have no one to hold hands with, no one to write notes filled x's and o's to, and no one to long for until the bell rings. Furthermore, as my biological clock is ever-ticking, I envy the growth of new life inside the swelled belly of these soon-to-be child/mothers.
Please don't misunderstand me. I am fairly pleased with life. Maturity that has come through age and life's trials has taught me about myself and what I want from a relationship. I know more now about entering into a life-long commitment. I know that when the time comes for me to bring forth life, I will be better prepared. For these things I am grateful.
For now I long and hope for the giddy, butterflies in the stomach feeling of new love. I trust that following God's plan for this will have its rewards. I hope that one of those rewards is someone who can make me feel like a giddy schoolgirl when he holds my hand and kisses me on the cheek. Maybe I'll even get a "check yes or no" note again someday.
I remember those days. I can still remember how excited I would get to find a note stuffed in my locker. I remember the smile that permeated my face when I saw "him" in the hall. And the feeling of his fingers slipping in between mine, the most tender embrace. The last hug before rushing off to class felt like the goodbye that would last for eternity.
But now I'm the disapproving teacher to be hidden from around the corner. Where has adolescent romance gone? Am I doomed by maturity to live a life of awkward dates, inconvenient courting and an emotionless marriage. To recall the Toys-R-Us song, "I don't want to grow up!"
In my current single status I lament the loss of innocence and lust. I have no one to hold hands with, no one to write notes filled x's and o's to, and no one to long for until the bell rings. Furthermore, as my biological clock is ever-ticking, I envy the growth of new life inside the swelled belly of these soon-to-be child/mothers.
Please don't misunderstand me. I am fairly pleased with life. Maturity that has come through age and life's trials has taught me about myself and what I want from a relationship. I know more now about entering into a life-long commitment. I know that when the time comes for me to bring forth life, I will be better prepared. For these things I am grateful.
For now I long and hope for the giddy, butterflies in the stomach feeling of new love. I trust that following God's plan for this will have its rewards. I hope that one of those rewards is someone who can make me feel like a giddy schoolgirl when he holds my hand and kisses me on the cheek. Maybe I'll even get a "check yes or no" note again someday.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My unique beauty
Let it be known that I don't wear make-up, paint my nails or dye my hair. I choose this, not because I don't want to be pretty, but because I want a beauty that is not purchased.
My skin is nearly flawless because of good nutrition and plenty of natural sun. I have and will develop lines and wrinkles, signifying my joy and laughter rather than pain. Why should I try to cover my joy?
Rather than being covered by expensive jewelery or unnatural colors, my hands are strong, capable and ready for whatever work may be required. My hair is lightened by the sun, curly and wild by Divine design. It contains strands who's color and texture signify the struggles I've been through and whose length signifies my ability to survive.
Maybe my naturality makes me a tom-boy, but I've never known a tom-boy to own pink and lace by choice.
I realize that all of this may not make me the epitome of beauty. As the lines of a song I used to sing for church remind me, "I may not be every woman's dream for her little girl. My face may not grace the minds of everyone in the world." (Amy Grant, Father's Eyes) The song continues and tells of a beauty found in the eyes of the Father and hopefully in mine as well.
This is me. I am the strong, capable, loving woman I was created to be. My scars, lines, sags and grey hairs make it known that I am alive.
My skin is nearly flawless because of good nutrition and plenty of natural sun. I have and will develop lines and wrinkles, signifying my joy and laughter rather than pain. Why should I try to cover my joy?
Rather than being covered by expensive jewelery or unnatural colors, my hands are strong, capable and ready for whatever work may be required. My hair is lightened by the sun, curly and wild by Divine design. It contains strands who's color and texture signify the struggles I've been through and whose length signifies my ability to survive.
Maybe my naturality makes me a tom-boy, but I've never known a tom-boy to own pink and lace by choice.
I realize that all of this may not make me the epitome of beauty. As the lines of a song I used to sing for church remind me, "I may not be every woman's dream for her little girl. My face may not grace the minds of everyone in the world." (Amy Grant, Father's Eyes) The song continues and tells of a beauty found in the eyes of the Father and hopefully in mine as well.
This is me. I am the strong, capable, loving woman I was created to be. My scars, lines, sags and grey hairs make it known that I am alive.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
A Public Loneliness
As you probably have noticed if you've known me much at all, I'm an extrovert. Just to clear up confusion, being an extrovert means that I pull energy from other people. An extrovert is not necessarily a people person or extremely outgoing, although I am both. Introversion, conversely, means that you derive energy from being alone. (I would suggest finding a Myers Briggs personality profile if you've never done one. It's a great way to learn a little more about the reason you act and react in certain ways.)
My extroversion is fairly strong. If I go very long without being around people I just can't stay awake. I used to work in a cubicle, which many of you likely remember. This was torture for me because I did nothing but sit alone and wait for the phone to ring. While the conditions of the work environment were fairly good I felt like I was being punished for some wrong that I didn't know I had done. No amount of pay can make up for this kind of ill-fitting work environment.
I've recently been quite aware of a loneliness to which I am prone. I have spent the last week at Urbana 09 with 16,000+ people. I've been in very large crowds and yet somehow have felt completely alone. While sitting next to my dear friend, Brea, one night I turned to her and said, “I need to have an exciting conversation with someone I barely know.” She laughed a little but knew exactly what I was talking about. You would think that being surrounded by 16,000+ people would be enough to keep any extrovert awake for days, but it simply wasn't enough. I realized that it wasn't just that I needed to be around people but that I needed to connect. I suddenly understood the connection this had with dating. My desire to date and flirt is a product of this public loneliness.
So I've now identified the issue. Beyond just presence with others, I need a connection with another in order to feel satisfied. Once again, it seems like it would be an easy thing to find among Christians, but it may be that Christians are harder to connect with that non-Christians. (I'll go more into this at a later date.) I'm really not sure why this is true sometimes and not other times, but it appears to be a reality. There are definitely times in my life when just being near someone satisfies my extroversion.
Once one has identified an issue the next logical step is to find a solution. (Many of you know my preference for being logical and have most likely chuckled a bit at this statement. Now that you have returned, I'll continue...) My problem has now become apparent. I have no clue what the solution is to this one. Obviously the ideal solution is to find someone with whom to have a conversation. Easier said than done my friends, as I'm sure you are aware. I know people who have no problems striking up conversation with anyone and everyone (anybody just get an image of Peter Gill in their heads? Yeah, me too.) While I'm definitely not ashamed to have conversations with strangers my fear of rejection hinders me. I don't want to impose myself on people who likely have much more important things to do that talk to me.
Your turn. Please share with me your experiences and suggestions. This is a concept you may see repeated in this blog as I continue to understand myself and my relationship to others.
My extroversion is fairly strong. If I go very long without being around people I just can't stay awake. I used to work in a cubicle, which many of you likely remember. This was torture for me because I did nothing but sit alone and wait for the phone to ring. While the conditions of the work environment were fairly good I felt like I was being punished for some wrong that I didn't know I had done. No amount of pay can make up for this kind of ill-fitting work environment.
I've recently been quite aware of a loneliness to which I am prone. I have spent the last week at Urbana 09 with 16,000+ people. I've been in very large crowds and yet somehow have felt completely alone. While sitting next to my dear friend, Brea, one night I turned to her and said, “I need to have an exciting conversation with someone I barely know.” She laughed a little but knew exactly what I was talking about. You would think that being surrounded by 16,000+ people would be enough to keep any extrovert awake for days, but it simply wasn't enough. I realized that it wasn't just that I needed to be around people but that I needed to connect. I suddenly understood the connection this had with dating. My desire to date and flirt is a product of this public loneliness.
So I've now identified the issue. Beyond just presence with others, I need a connection with another in order to feel satisfied. Once again, it seems like it would be an easy thing to find among Christians, but it may be that Christians are harder to connect with that non-Christians. (I'll go more into this at a later date.) I'm really not sure why this is true sometimes and not other times, but it appears to be a reality. There are definitely times in my life when just being near someone satisfies my extroversion.
Once one has identified an issue the next logical step is to find a solution. (Many of you know my preference for being logical and have most likely chuckled a bit at this statement. Now that you have returned, I'll continue...) My problem has now become apparent. I have no clue what the solution is to this one. Obviously the ideal solution is to find someone with whom to have a conversation. Easier said than done my friends, as I'm sure you are aware. I know people who have no problems striking up conversation with anyone and everyone (anybody just get an image of Peter Gill in their heads? Yeah, me too.) While I'm definitely not ashamed to have conversations with strangers my fear of rejection hinders me. I don't want to impose myself on people who likely have much more important things to do that talk to me.
Your turn. Please share with me your experiences and suggestions. This is a concept you may see repeated in this blog as I continue to understand myself and my relationship to others.
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